Dear Kuya,
Hi kuya i hope u like some of the updates i made for this blog. I been busy doing it that's why i didn't wrote you for awhile. Last Sunday while i was resting and folding my clothes to put it on my cabinet. I was listening to my mp3 and was smiling and enjoying it since i put new song in it. I am enjoying Superhuman by Chris Brown and after that the song of Mariah Carey " Bye Bye" just started. Although I'm used of listening to it. And everytime i heared it i just smile and look up in the sky. But at that time it suddenly hit me. I suddenly felt my tears are falling. I started remembering the days we always laugh cause of your jokes. And how we spend our day talking about our characters in the video games and online games we play. Remember the time when we go to the mall and we watch a movie. I remember we both have our own french fries but u still get some of mine when im busy watching. It was a fun memory. We do wrestle too when were small. And our younger sister always cry and you two will fight then mom will get mad at both of you then it will end up spanking you and her. I really do miss you already. Theres no letter here in this blog that i didnt cry while writing. I do try not too because i know you hate it when we cry. I guess its just too emotional to me cause we are so close to each other. We always love video game and online games. We both love cartoons on the T.V and always enjoy watching movies. You know i havent play any online games yet since you left. I just dont feel like i will enjoy it like before.
Earlier when i woke up. I did saw your picture behind Marilyn while she was sleeping. I guess she do miss you too so much. You been a very sweet man for her. I always see you getting food for her. And you always buy something for her on valentines day. You always protect her. That's why she always talk about you. And i know she wont forget you too.
Its time for me to go now kuya. I love you and miss you already.
Love,
Shiela
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Dreaming of you
Dear Kuya,
Hi kuya I know i haven't wrote for a while again. I was busy updating my other blog and this blog. I do it so that this blog i did for you will get some traffic. By the way I am in Tagig now. Our home town. I'm staying in the house we grew up. Staying there for a week now really did give lots of memories. How we both grew up and spend our days as kids there. But before i moved i did had a dream about you. Its my first dream about you since you left. In my dream i was in a strange place and walking. Then i suddenly saw you. Someone is helping you walk but i didn't recognize the person you with. Then you walk towards me and You whispered something to me. I can feel your lips are kinda cold and wet. I didn't hear what your saying. I'm still wondering until now what do u want to say to me. Then you after that you hug me so tight and i hug u back and i started to cry. I keep on saying i miss you so much. I can see that you were smiling. And by the way you hug me i know you do miss me too. They i woke up with tears on my eyes. And i starting crying and crying. I try to cry in silent cause Mom is just sleeping near me. I don't want her to see me crying. I'm sure she will ask why and i don't want to tell her that i did dream about you. Because I'm sure she will cry too. Like she did when she saw our cousin on Kyle's birthday. She said our cousin did remind her of you. I know Mom miss you the most. On my second day in Tagig i did cry too. I do wish your with me there. I'm sure you will love moving back to Tagig too and seeing your old friends.
I lost my phone yesterday. It made me sad because i save all the last text and the birthday message you sent me. I didn't made any back- up for that i wish i did. I know i can still buy a new cellphone. But i cant bring back the message text you sent to me when your still here.
Your girlfriend Marilyn is staying with me. I know shes missing you too. There wont be a day that we wont talk about you. She do wish she will dream about you too. She hope through dream she can see you again. And Hug you like i did.
I will go back making more updates for the blogs. And be back at work. I hope it will be less traffic later when i go home. But i know it will be impossible with all of the jeepneys, bus, truck, and cars on the street. I'm glad that in the morning i can ride a bus from Tagig that will go straight to Makati. I do miss you always brother. I know that your in a good place now. Away from all the pain. And I'm glad that even in my dream you did visit me. I love you!!!
Love,
Shiela
Hi kuya I know i haven't wrote for a while again. I was busy updating my other blog and this blog. I do it so that this blog i did for you will get some traffic. By the way I am in Tagig now. Our home town. I'm staying in the house we grew up. Staying there for a week now really did give lots of memories. How we both grew up and spend our days as kids there. But before i moved i did had a dream about you. Its my first dream about you since you left. In my dream i was in a strange place and walking. Then i suddenly saw you. Someone is helping you walk but i didn't recognize the person you with. Then you walk towards me and You whispered something to me. I can feel your lips are kinda cold and wet. I didn't hear what your saying. I'm still wondering until now what do u want to say to me. Then you after that you hug me so tight and i hug u back and i started to cry. I keep on saying i miss you so much. I can see that you were smiling. And by the way you hug me i know you do miss me too. They i woke up with tears on my eyes. And i starting crying and crying. I try to cry in silent cause Mom is just sleeping near me. I don't want her to see me crying. I'm sure she will ask why and i don't want to tell her that i did dream about you. Because I'm sure she will cry too. Like she did when she saw our cousin on Kyle's birthday. She said our cousin did remind her of you. I know Mom miss you the most. On my second day in Tagig i did cry too. I do wish your with me there. I'm sure you will love moving back to Tagig too and seeing your old friends.
I lost my phone yesterday. It made me sad because i save all the last text and the birthday message you sent me. I didn't made any back- up for that i wish i did. I know i can still buy a new cellphone. But i cant bring back the message text you sent to me when your still here.
Your girlfriend Marilyn is staying with me. I know shes missing you too. There wont be a day that we wont talk about you. She do wish she will dream about you too. She hope through dream she can see you again. And Hug you like i did.
I will go back making more updates for the blogs. And be back at work. I hope it will be less traffic later when i go home. But i know it will be impossible with all of the jeepneys, bus, truck, and cars on the street. I'm glad that in the morning i can ride a bus from Tagig that will go straight to Makati. I do miss you always brother. I know that your in a good place now. Away from all the pain. And I'm glad that even in my dream you did visit me. I love you!!!
Love,
Shiela
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hi Kuya
Dear Kuya,
Hello again kuya i know its been awhile. Our office just moved so we are just finish putting back our stuff together and laying the cable cord for our computers. Although I'm still adjusting to everything. And actually i even got lost yesterday on my way here to the office. I know where your here you will laugh at me and tell me I'm silly. I know you are good at this. I always know places specially in manila area. I always thought that maybe its because you have a very good memory. Much better that mine. Unlike me you didn't get lost in anywhere in Manila. And admire you so much. I do wish i can be like you. That i know the routes of any jeepney i can see. Honestly they are really confusing. Specially now that there are so many jeep and lots of new routes. Plus there's a train station too already. But i do like the train more. I even ride on one today on my way here at the office. I realize riding a jeep will eat much of my time although its more cheaper than the train.
I thought of you today when i woke up. I admit that's one of the reason why i am making a post right now. I just remember how it was before when your still here. We been missing you. Mom miss you the most. I took Kyle on the barber shop last week. He didn't give the hair cutter a hard time. He been a good boy while the barber is cutting his hair. But he wanna keep on looking at the mirror so her mom really had a hard time holding his head to look on the other way. He is so adorable just watching him while his having his haircut is fun. After that we went to a food chain and eat some Halo - Halo. He love Halo - Halo look you do. He thought its a different kind of ice cream. I just got my psp back too now. I downloaded new games again. I have Mortal Combat. I know you will love that game. I really cant reach the high score or high level even in an easy mood. But to you i know you can do it. Your more good at it than me. Your a pro and I'm just a Rookie.
I do miss you Kuya. I wonder how it will be if you did get well and still here. If you will always play my psp. If you will move with me in Tagig which I'm 90% sure you will because you love it there. I love you Kuya. I got to go for now. I see you next time.
Love,
Shiela
Hello again kuya i know its been awhile. Our office just moved so we are just finish putting back our stuff together and laying the cable cord for our computers. Although I'm still adjusting to everything. And actually i even got lost yesterday on my way here to the office. I know where your here you will laugh at me and tell me I'm silly. I know you are good at this. I always know places specially in manila area. I always thought that maybe its because you have a very good memory. Much better that mine. Unlike me you didn't get lost in anywhere in Manila. And admire you so much. I do wish i can be like you. That i know the routes of any jeepney i can see. Honestly they are really confusing. Specially now that there are so many jeep and lots of new routes. Plus there's a train station too already. But i do like the train more. I even ride on one today on my way here at the office. I realize riding a jeep will eat much of my time although its more cheaper than the train.
I thought of you today when i woke up. I admit that's one of the reason why i am making a post right now. I just remember how it was before when your still here. We been missing you. Mom miss you the most. I took Kyle on the barber shop last week. He didn't give the hair cutter a hard time. He been a good boy while the barber is cutting his hair. But he wanna keep on looking at the mirror so her mom really had a hard time holding his head to look on the other way. He is so adorable just watching him while his having his haircut is fun. After that we went to a food chain and eat some Halo - Halo. He love Halo - Halo look you do. He thought its a different kind of ice cream. I just got my psp back too now. I downloaded new games again. I have Mortal Combat. I know you will love that game. I really cant reach the high score or high level even in an easy mood. But to you i know you can do it. Your more good at it than me. Your a pro and I'm just a Rookie.
I do miss you Kuya. I wonder how it will be if you did get well and still here. If you will always play my psp. If you will move with me in Tagig which I'm 90% sure you will because you love it there. I love you Kuya. I got to go for now. I see you next time.
Love,
Shiela
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thank you
Dear Kuya,
Hi kuya I know its been awhile again since my last letter. But i know you do understand why. Dont worry for sure when i get to move to tagig and get my cable connection back i can write to you everyday even on my day off.
We are all fine so far. Mom kinda feel some ache on her knee. Maybe because of the weather. Its been cold again recently. There are some times too that i reminisce the days your still with us. I do remember the day when were going to the hospital. Where inside the taxi and i look at you and you look so pale and weak. Your having a hard time catching your breath. But you look at me and say "Thank you" It really mean a lot to me. I can feel the sincerity on those words. It did made me wanna cry but i try not too show you that i am sad. I suddenly felt more sad cause i'm someway i am hope that it wont be the last Thank you word that you will say to me. When we get to the hospital. They did some examination to you. I know you really wanna stay there at the hospital but they didnt accept you. They say theres no available room for you cause there wards are full. I can see the sadness and worry in your eyes when we get back home. I guess you do really felt that your getting worst. I cant do anything at that time. I dont have enough money to spend to get you to another hospital. But i know your still happy that we did try. This letter really makes me cry. Remembering that sad day for me is so hard. Remember the feeling of hopelessness and sadness that i felt that day. I got to pause for awhile now. My tears are falling and i cant stop it. Im at the office im kinda worry someone will come to my room and would wonder why im crying. Kuya I always hope i have done a lot more for you. I honestly still sad that i didnt do the best i can to help you. I wish i have money to spend for you to get well. But i know right now i got to be strong for mom. I know she is more sad than me. We really miss you so much. And i will always say "Your welcome Kuya!" And if in our second life we still be brothers and sisters. I will still do all the things i did for you just to make you happy. I will do it because I love you so much.
Love,
Shiela
Hi kuya I know its been awhile again since my last letter. But i know you do understand why. Dont worry for sure when i get to move to tagig and get my cable connection back i can write to you everyday even on my day off.
We are all fine so far. Mom kinda feel some ache on her knee. Maybe because of the weather. Its been cold again recently. There are some times too that i reminisce the days your still with us. I do remember the day when were going to the hospital. Where inside the taxi and i look at you and you look so pale and weak. Your having a hard time catching your breath. But you look at me and say "Thank you" It really mean a lot to me. I can feel the sincerity on those words. It did made me wanna cry but i try not too show you that i am sad. I suddenly felt more sad cause i'm someway i am hope that it wont be the last Thank you word that you will say to me. When we get to the hospital. They did some examination to you. I know you really wanna stay there at the hospital but they didnt accept you. They say theres no available room for you cause there wards are full. I can see the sadness and worry in your eyes when we get back home. I guess you do really felt that your getting worst. I cant do anything at that time. I dont have enough money to spend to get you to another hospital. But i know your still happy that we did try. This letter really makes me cry. Remembering that sad day for me is so hard. Remember the feeling of hopelessness and sadness that i felt that day. I got to pause for awhile now. My tears are falling and i cant stop it. Im at the office im kinda worry someone will come to my room and would wonder why im crying. Kuya I always hope i have done a lot more for you. I honestly still sad that i didnt do the best i can to help you. I wish i have money to spend for you to get well. But i know right now i got to be strong for mom. I know she is more sad than me. We really miss you so much. And i will always say "Your welcome Kuya!" And if in our second life we still be brothers and sisters. I will still do all the things i did for you just to make you happy. I will do it because I love you so much.
Love,
Shiela
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Busy day at work
Dear kuya,
Hi Kuya i know its been a while again since my last letter. I guess u do know why already. Our life here are all ok. Mom is fine just have some body ache i guess its cause of the weather. Its been so cold from the past few weeks. Kyle is doing fine. His kinda excited about her up coming 3rd birthday this coming February 7. I promise i will buy him some cake on his birthday. Like i said on my lasy letter our office is planning to move. its every this are in place our office will be moving in Makati. SO mom told me to move to our old house in Tagig that will be a 3 to 4 ride to our new office. I know if i live there i will always remember you and Dad. We did spend our family day there. We start living there since i was in gradeschool and left that house when i am already working.So we did spend out youth days there. Plus i will always see your friends there. Which is ok in some way. It will just make me cry sometimes and i know it will. I always talk to Nang-Nang yung girlfriend everytime she get online. I make sure she will stay with me when i live there. I plan to enroll to a yoga class when we finally move to makati. Its something i wanna do for myself. Not just to lose weight but to be healthy cause i know im getting old na. By the way. Last Saturday i discover that one of my friend just past away. He got sick like you had too. It made me sad again. I havent seen her for years. Me and my friend Rea are planning to go to the funeral this coming Sunday. I hope we really can.
I do miss you kuya. It still makes me cry when i suddenly think of you. I guess cause your so close to me and your my only brother. Sometimes i wish your still around and we can still go out. I know you love malling. I saw the picture we took when we went to the disco together for the first time. I remember how fun u were. Making all of my friends laugh with all of your joke. I still wish we can still do that. But i know i got to move on and just always remember i got to continue my life and be fulfill so that when we meet again i will have lots of things and stories to tell you.
Well Kuya i got to go now. I got to go back to my work. I do miss you already. You are one of the reason why i smile when i look at the sky. I know that your there look at us and loving us always. Love you bro!!!
Loving you always,
Shiela
Hi Kuya i know its been a while again since my last letter. I guess u do know why already. Our life here are all ok. Mom is fine just have some body ache i guess its cause of the weather. Its been so cold from the past few weeks. Kyle is doing fine. His kinda excited about her up coming 3rd birthday this coming February 7. I promise i will buy him some cake on his birthday. Like i said on my lasy letter our office is planning to move. its every this are in place our office will be moving in Makati. SO mom told me to move to our old house in Tagig that will be a 3 to 4 ride to our new office. I know if i live there i will always remember you and Dad. We did spend our family day there. We start living there since i was in gradeschool and left that house when i am already working.So we did spend out youth days there. Plus i will always see your friends there. Which is ok in some way. It will just make me cry sometimes and i know it will. I always talk to Nang-Nang yung girlfriend everytime she get online. I make sure she will stay with me when i live there. I plan to enroll to a yoga class when we finally move to makati. Its something i wanna do for myself. Not just to lose weight but to be healthy cause i know im getting old na. By the way. Last Saturday i discover that one of my friend just past away. He got sick like you had too. It made me sad again. I havent seen her for years. Me and my friend Rea are planning to go to the funeral this coming Sunday. I hope we really can.
I do miss you kuya. It still makes me cry when i suddenly think of you. I guess cause your so close to me and your my only brother. Sometimes i wish your still around and we can still go out. I know you love malling. I saw the picture we took when we went to the disco together for the first time. I remember how fun u were. Making all of my friends laugh with all of your joke. I still wish we can still do that. But i know i got to move on and just always remember i got to continue my life and be fulfill so that when we meet again i will have lots of things and stories to tell you.
Well Kuya i got to go now. I got to go back to my work. I do miss you already. You are one of the reason why i smile when i look at the sky. I know that your there look at us and loving us always. Love you bro!!!
Loving you always,
Shiela
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