Holy Week

Dear Kuya,
Hello kuya the holy week already came. It was a very long vacation for me since my work start on Tuesday and not the usual Monday. Mom and our nephew kyle came by the home and spend there Holy week with me. They are still there and i guess they will stay longer and i am happy about that. There having some problem with there electric connection back there house. Kyle is growing good and strong. Although sometimes his hard to take care because he seems to be hard headed sometimes. But his cute and so smart. Sometimes he become talkative and keep on telling stories specially to mom. And his lovable. Almost all of my neighbors like him. They always say his cute or handsome. I do have my computer connection now. I know i promise when i did have my connection i will post here everyday. Well i still cant my computer kept on crashing or shutting down when i open it. So i cant make a post while I'm home still. If i will try i will spend a lot of time making one post saving it before the computer crash and when it crash i will open it back again and continue posting. Which is really annoying to do. But don't worry i already ask my co worker who know more about computer than me to help me fix it. All i need now its just money for the expenses to buy the part needed to be replace.
I met one of your friends brother. He did ask about you. And i did old him your already in God hands. He was kinda surprise about it. And he did told me too that his brother your friend already pass away too. He was just a month early than you. Before i go i told him that you and his brother already met there in heaven. And probably look back at us here. There are still lot of people who didn't know you already left. So something i got to tell them. Honestly its kinda hard to keep on telling people when they ask. Sometimes i just wish they stop and just realize your gone. I'm glad mom and kyle at with me today. If not i will crying again when i remember you. Specially at night before i go to sleep.
There is just one more thing that bothers me. I sometimes see your yahoo id do log in on Sms. Not only me but your girlfriend and some of your friends do see it too. I even saw your yahoo id did log out yesterday. I did left a message there already to inform the person who is using it. What makes me think is that I am sure you wont give your password to anyone. So we really wonder who would that be or if it was just the yahoo itself. But mom said maybe you just want to do it just to remind us not to forget you. Dont worry kuya we wont forget you like i always say to you. There are so many memories we have that is so hard to forget.
I just watch the Fast and the Furious part 4 last holy week. I know you will like that movie. You love cars and drifting. I do thought maybe if we were just lucky and born a little richer i know you will be having lots of cars and would probably involve in a car race.i would probably going to watch X-men when it start showing. I know you will like that movie too. And we would probably going to watch it together. Our you will watch it with you girlfriend if i didnt have time yet.
I do sometimes wonder how were you know and what were you doing. But i can only guess and day dream. Like the rest of us we always think you just left and move on another state or province. It will be much more easier to us to think like that than to think that your really gone and wont come back. I do know you wont come back. I do always tell myself that you just left so you can prepare our place in heaven. So that when its our time to go there it will much better. I know i will see you soon. When my time has come. But for now i know i got to keep on living for mom, kyle and the rest of our love ones. I just really do miss you bro and like i always say i wont never forget you. I got to go now. I will try to post again as soon as possible. Love you Bro!!!

Love,
Shiela

Reminising the good memories

Dear kuya,
Some of your friends came and visited me last weekend. They all stay till dawn and chat with me. We chat about a lot of things. We talk about how fun we were when we are small kids. How we always play on the fields. I remember u always hate it when i join your games with your friends. I was angry at you but i do know that your like that cause u know i will only lose cause i am still small and your friends are good in what ever games you play. One of your friend said he still cant believe your gone. I just smile back and say that your not gone you always here in our heart in our memories. All the happy and sad memories we all share wont gone away. The fun we have as kids. One even said its really fun to be a kid. Spending all your day running, playing and laughing with your friends. But when your grown up already. All things get serious. You got to work think about what your future will be. Face lots of problems that you didn't have when your small. Be stress with all the trials in life that you will take. But you know whats the best thing about being a kid. Its having you as a brother. I am happy that your my brother. I know there so many girls out there who will wish to have a brother like you. Because even if you get older and mature you still enjoy life. Even when you get sick. You didn't show sadness. You always tell jokes and will make all people laugh. That's one of the things your friends miss about you. And that's one of the things i do miss about you too.
I will going to have my computer connection back at home already. I told Marilyn your girlfriend who live with me to go apply for a connection today. She said she think it will take 3 to 4 days. I'm sure if your still here you will be the first one to be happy. Because when my computer have connection already then you can spend your time playing your favorite online games. And I'm sure you do miss your car on the Drift city game your playing online. So i do know that's the first game you will download on my computer. Come to think of it i guess i will check it when i get my connection back. This games you play when your still here will really do bring back good times we both have. Since i am a gamer myself too and we do both spend more time talking about games than other things. We both like music, T.V shows, movies, and both online games and video games.
By the way before your friends leave we decided and made a plan on visiting your tomb after the Lenten season. They will all going to come. The idea came from Marilyn. She said she want to visit you. We are really looking forward for that. Were going to go to mom house first so she can come with us i know she will love to join us in visiting you.
I will cut this letter for now. Don't worry like i told you i will have my connection back home in 3 to 4 days , meaning i can do post blog even when I'm home already or on my day off. I love you Bro always !!!

Love,
Shiela

A Son

Dear Kuya,
Hi Kuya I just discovered something last night. Me and your girlfriend Marilyn had a long chat. And she mention me that you one told her that you had a son to your first girlfriend back when were teenager. I was surprise and so happy and really wishing its true. Because it will be so cool to know that you have a son. I been thinking of finding a way on how i can talk to your son mother. I am wonder if her uncle which is a friend of mine knew about it and i can ask him if its really true. I want to make sure its true, but i have a feeling it is really true. The only thing that worry me is that the mother will deny it and say your not her son Father. I am really praying that she will say the truth and the truth will me what i really wanted. If that happened i will tell this to mom and I'm sure she be so happy. I am not planning of making a big issue out of it. I just want to know the truth about it. And i will make things be as quiet as possible. Your girlfriend is ok about it too. She do really miss you. She cried again last night while were talking. I told her that we all do miss you too. Specially mom because mom had been with you from the first day you were form on her womb. I do cry too when i think about you. But i don't show it. I cry alone and talk to you like your just near me. Yes i do always wish your still here. And that we still talk about things and we still laugh about your jokes, spend the holidays with you and play games like car drift on our computer. I know you really love playing that game and rpg games.
Mom is going to wait for me today. She is hoping i could visit her today. I hope so too but i am not sure yet. I don't know if my salary will be today. I got to go the the repair shop to fix my psp too and buy a new battery for the old cellphone i am planning to use. I'm planning to have the computer connection back. So that i can go online even if I'm not at work.
I been missing so much bro. All the time i think about you. Me and your girlfriend is planning to visit your tomb. Hopefully we can by next week. I love you Bro always !!!

Love,
Shiela

She do miss you !

Dear Kuya,
Hi kuya i hope u like some of the updates i made for this blog. I been busy doing it that's why i didn't wrote you for awhile. Last Sunday while i was resting and folding my clothes to put it on my cabinet. I was listening to my mp3 and was smiling and enjoying it since i put new song in it. I am enjoying Superhuman by Chris Brown and after that the song of Mariah Carey " Bye Bye" just started. Although I'm used of listening to it. And everytime i heared it i just smile and look up in the sky. But at that time it suddenly hit me. I suddenly felt my tears are falling. I started remembering the days we always laugh cause of your jokes. And how we spend our day talking about our characters in the video games and online games we play. Remember the time when we go to the mall and we watch a movie. I remember we both have our own french fries but u still get some of mine when im busy watching. It was a fun memory. We do wrestle too when were small. And our younger sister always cry and you two will fight then mom will get mad at both of you then it will end up spanking you and her. I really do miss you already. Theres no letter here in this blog that i didnt cry while writing. I do try not too because i know you hate it when we cry. I guess its just too emotional to me cause we are so close to each other. We always love video game and online games. We both love cartoons on the T.V and always enjoy watching movies. You know i havent play any online games yet since you left. I just dont feel like i will enjoy it like before.
Earlier when i woke up. I did saw your picture behind Marilyn while she was sleeping. I guess she do miss you too so much. You been a very sweet man for her. I always see you getting food for her. And you always buy something for her on valentines day. You always protect her. That's why she always talk about you. And i know she wont forget you too.
Its time for me to go now kuya. I love you and miss you already.

Love,
Shiela

Dreaming of you

Dear Kuya,
Hi kuya I know i haven't wrote for a while again. I was busy updating my other blog and this blog. I do it so that this blog i did for you will get some traffic. By the way I am in Tagig now. Our home town. I'm staying in the house we grew up. Staying there for a week now really did give lots of memories. How we both grew up and spend our days as kids there. But before i moved i did had a dream about you. Its my first dream about you since you left. In my dream i was in a strange place and walking. Then i suddenly saw you. Someone is helping you walk but i didn't recognize the person you with. Then you walk towards me and You whispered something to me. I can feel your lips are kinda cold and wet. I didn't hear what your saying. I'm still wondering until now what do u want to say to me. Then you after that you hug me so tight and i hug u back and i started to cry. I keep on saying i miss you so much. I can see that you were smiling. And by the way you hug me i know you do miss me too. They i woke up with tears on my eyes. And i starting crying and crying. I try to cry in silent cause Mom is just sleeping near me. I don't want her to see me crying. I'm sure she will ask why and i don't want to tell her that i did dream about you. Because I'm sure she will cry too. Like she did when she saw our cousin on Kyle's birthday. She said our cousin did remind her of you. I know Mom miss you the most. On my second day in Tagig i did cry too. I do wish your with me there. I'm sure you will love moving back to Tagig too and seeing your old friends.
I lost my phone yesterday. It made me sad because i save all the last text and the birthday message you sent me. I didn't made any back- up for that i wish i did. I know i can still buy a new cellphone. But i cant bring back the message text you sent to me when your still here.
Your girlfriend Marilyn is staying with me. I know shes missing you too. There wont be a day that we wont talk about you. She do wish she will dream about you too. She hope through dream she can see you again. And Hug you like i did.
I will go back making more updates for the blogs. And be back at work. I hope it will be less traffic later when i go home. But i know it will be impossible with all of the jeepneys, bus, truck, and cars on the street. I'm glad that in the morning i can ride a bus from Tagig that will go straight to Makati. I do miss you always brother. I know that your in a good place now. Away from all the pain. And I'm glad that even in my dream you did visit me. I love you!!!

Love,
Shiela